I’ve always been in two thoughts about shirt dresses for the longest time. On one hand, I’ve been living in shirt dresses for about a good 3/4 years now – I find them easy to dress up, casual and simple. In the back of my mind, however, I would always be on the hunt for ‘the’ oversized shirt. The white, formal men’s shirt. The one that’s not made for wearing outdoors, but rather worn for waking up in, tousled hair flowing freely while you go into the kitchen and prepare breakfast for yourself and bae.
The oversized white men’s shirt is somewhat of a problematic fave of mine.
Hollywood has taught us that in order for (predominantly white, slim and attractive) women to be seen as dainty, fragile, sexy and soft in the eyes of men we need to adorn ourselves with our significant others’ big, burly, manly white shirts. We’ve seen it in so many movies, from Mr and Mrs Smith to Maid in Manhattan, to The Wedding Planner: white oversized shirts on women are the wave.
It got me thinking: “do women in real life REALLY wear white shirts after sex? Am I missing out? Are my Adventure Time PJs (complete with socks) too immature for such an intimate moment? Also: I’m fat. Can I even fit into said ‘oversized shirt?’ Will he think I’m attractive wearing nothing at all? I’ve just tried on his shirt and can’t fit my arm through it – OMG he’s smaller than me this is v embarrassing. Should I pop into M&S and pick up a XXXXL white shirt on the offchance? WILL MY FUPA PROTRUDE THROUGH?”
In the movies, you see the woman easily grab an oversized t-shirt, hoodie or formal shirt and dance around the apartment with ease, hair looking freshly blowdried, looking alluring, with the boxiness of the shirt serving to accentuate her curves and general petiteness. In real life, you see me struggling to do up the buttons in the corner of the room, creasing the shirt in the process, wig hanging half off my head and mascara smudged into my contact lens (which is V painful btw). This scenario eventually ends up with me apologising and offering to iron the shirt.
But deep down in the back of my mind, I still find the notion of oversized shirts quite attractive. Problematic? Meh. I don’t believe I’m signing up to the notion that a big shirt will automatically make me more attractive, however, it did cross my mind that by buying a garment several sizes bigger than myself, it may be the slightly insecure part of me wanting to show off a part of my body to another but not having the full confidence to go absolutely ‘commando’ as of yet. Who knows? It’s something I’m still trying to unpack tbh.
Do I think oversized shirts are sexy? Hell yeah. As are hoodies, tracksuit bottoms, onesies, jeans, dresses and blouses. At the end of the day, what makes the outfit attractive is not only how you wear it, but your mindset while wearing it. If you feel confident in an item of clothing, even if it’s a tent dress and Dr Martens, that sex appeal is going to ooze through you, like butter oozes through a warm hot cross bun. Speaking of which, there’s a hot cross bun with my name on it downstairs. Happy Easter everyone!